Log in

Angel: The afterlife [entries|friends|calendar]
Angel: The Afterlife

[ website | Afterlife_OOC ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[15 Jul 2010|12:00am]

To protect from LJ.
post comment

Battle of the sexes [26 Oct 2005|10:35pm]

[ mood | amused ]

Why the hell I'd been standin' 'round listenin' t'Harm talk, I had no idea. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I just fuckin' stormed off tryin' t'find out where Cordy had run off. Wasn't everyday that you had one of the best shags of your unlife and woke up t'find the bird in question gone.

Especially if you're me.

I passed Percy talkin' t'Gramps in the hall and actually paused long enough t'hear 'em talk.

"But we did examine Gunn-- the, ah, body, that is-- and the evidence exonerates Illyria. She's innocent of this crime."

"Well, that's good t'know," I mumbled, a bit t'myself since after it all I had t'admit that I hadn't even been thinkin' 'bout Big Blue. Still didn't tell us who the killer was, and I suppose that was what Angel and Wes were chattin' 'bout, but there were more pressin' matters.

"Angel. Harm's still here. In the hotel." I paused. "Did you not hear me? IN THE HOTEL. HARM. STILL." Rollin' my eyes, I glanced quickly over at Percy and laughed. "Oh. No. Oh, you two didn't..."

Oh, they did. I could smell the sex comin' off him and the grin on his face sure as hell didn't make it any less true that he'd shagged Fred. I clapped him on the back. "Welcome t'the club, mate. Now, if we could only find our birds.."

Shakin' my head, I walked into the kitchen after trackin' down Sexy's scent. And there she was, chattin' up Fred. I noticed Percy followed me in, but... two birds talkin'? After some shaggin'? I sighed and lowered my voice t'him.

"We are both fucked."

((Open to Wes, Fred, & Cordy))

2 comments|post comment

Roomies [09 Sep 2005|05:09pm]

[ mood | calm ]

It was certainly... intriguing, living like this in the box that threatened to confine me against all odds. Struggling, I finally was able to breathe, to think, to scream in my mind if I so chose to do so.

The mortal-who-was-not had done well.

He was also a puzzlement, one who eluded my understanding. Prior to the Great Battle, he had humbled me, left me broken and bloodied, yet now... now he sought me out, submitted his form to me as mortals should. The Wolf, Ram, and Hart did not contact me as I had thought they would, and yet the vermin at the hotel had shunned me as well.

No... that was an untruth, for they shunned the Slayer alongside me.

We were living here together, she and I, and I marveled at her powers, her strength, her ability to ignore the ones who would seek to contain her. Her moods were ever-changing, and at times I felt... jealous of that ability.

The other -- Hamilton -- had visited us once when she and I had sparred, practicing for some danger that had not yet arrived. His time with us had been brief, and when he left I was puzzled.

My feelings toward The Shell and Wesley were clear to me -- the hate the was within me was finally quieted, yet something else was here and I was uncertain... as the Sla-- Faith sat on our couch, I walked toward her, standing nearby.

"Why does Hamilton continually verify that we are here? It feels as though his visits accomplish nothing save confuse me of my own feelings."

Perhaps she had the answers...

((Open to Faith))

2 comments|post comment

Reawakening [09 Aug 2005|01:17pm]
I had no where to go really. I walked out of that building and watched the place I had spent the last few months in fall at my feet. Numb was an understatement. For the first few hours I waited for him. It could have been a mistake. Angel could have been wrong. It wouldn't have been the first time he was less than honest with me... to any of them really. Not that I had been a part of them, ever. I was an outsider and now I was done.

With no where to go and no where to belong I simply stayed in the only place I knew of. It had been safe, but now that didn't even matter. No where was safe anymore. The world was changing and I wasn't part of that anymore. They had discarded me and removed my status. I was just like everyone else. Someday I would die and my body could finally come to rest.

I was merely in wait. I didn't have anything left to me. All the plans, all the sacrifices I had made seemed to be for nothing. I gave it all up, and when I say gave it all up I mean everything. I had a place set for me. A purpose, some higher manner of being. A role to play and I traded it all in for a chance at something to call my own.

Now I was nothing. Made mortal, made human made into something that couldn't be added into whatever plan the world had already set into motion. More an outsider than I had been when I was within the walls of Wolfram and Hart. No more purpose awaiting me. Just death. So I waited for it, since it seemed to be the only thing left to me.

One morning I heard it again. It is something you never forget, or at least you are supposed to forget but I never will. I heard it on the day of my Creation. They call it the Awakening. All the time they put into you, the memories, the knowledge, the mannerisms, the way you take your coffee in the morning, all of it takes years of programming.

We aren't supposed to know.

The Awakening erases that so all you know is the life they gave you. All you remember is getting your assignement and starting your lifetime. I was sent to finish a senior year at University of Santa Cruz. All my credits and classes were taken care of. I passes with honors and was placed within the Los Angeles branch of Wolfram and Hart.

My placement was planned. The amount I knew about myself wasn't what they had in mind. He changed it all. Opened my eyes. Showed me the truth hidden behind all the lies they had given me. I was pure evil created of a lie and placed into whatever they needed me to become. I was just a tool to them an instrument of implementation. He gave me a real awakening and then left me alone to die.

Or so I thought.

Three in the morning and I was sent an Awakening. The partners wanted nothing to do with me. They locked my access to all that they had planted within me. Their pride had stopped them from destroying me altogether. I was purely just for display purposes only. Something they could say, "Look what we made." Whoever sent me the Awakening knew what I was. They knew what I had within me and how much value it could have to someone in the right place at the right time. All that it took was two words and everything flooded back to me. Whispers in the dead of night sending me gasping for air that couldn't be enough.

"He's alive."

A message like that you don't need transcribed and translated. You don't need to dig deep for some hidden meaning. All I had to do was verify that it was the truth. That it was real. I had to go to the only person that would be able to tell me the truth. Eve though I never belived him before he was the only person I could go to.

I knew the way to the Hyperion by heart. It was where they all were supposed to meet when the dust settled. I had gone there once. Just to see if there was something I had missed. I never got past the sidewalk though, I just kept on walking. There was nothing there for me. I knew it then and in a way I knew it now as well.

I just had to hope that the first steps I took into the hotel weren't going to end up my last.

((Open to Angel))
post comment

A Place Called Home [27 Jul 2005|09:23am]

[ mood | anxious ]

((Cont from HERE))

The Slayer continued to speak strangely to me, and as I attempted to discern exactly what she meant, the one known as Hamilton also required my attention.

"Didn't realize I was comin' to a meetin' of Ass Kissers Anonymous."

My head unmoving but my eyes straying slightly toward the Slayer, then back to the almost-mortal before me, I felt close to what I had felt back at the hotel, surrounded by the vermin and The Shell. A toy, something to be played with and discarded... a pawn in their game.

I would not allow either the Slayer or the almost-human to do that to me.

I locked away the vital pieces of information leaked regarding the Slayer's former alliance with the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart...

"Great lord Illyria, I have secured lodgings for your magnificent self, apart from both those who have turned their backs to you and those who might seek to manipulate you. Though it is humble, it is very impressive by human standards. Shall I show you?"

With nowhere else to go, no one to guide me, no one who... needed me, I simply nodded, turning to the Slayer. "You may come along, if you desire, to approve of the new surroundings." Surely, she understood that the hotel was not a viable option for me, not any longer.

Walking towards the almost-human, my hand snaked out to his face, touching the air surrounding it and absorbing what energies I could from him... there were no untruths in his words, and so the three of us entered his 'car' to take us to this supposed 'abode'.

Odd that I no longer felt such... hatred towards him any longer. Merely a kinship of sorts for one greater than the mortals surrounding us both, a desire for power and recognition -- the same that the Slayer required as well.

As I stepped out and stared at the new lodging, I spoke to them both.

"Why do those lesser than us, without the touch of the power we have tasted, so seek to weaken us? Abuse us, use us until we are dried up, withered and... no longer necessary?"

And why was my voice so terribly quiet?

((Open to Faith & Hamilton))

5 comments|post comment

Perchance to Dream [07 Jul 2005|10:49am]

[ mood | hopeful ]

As a rule, my sleep is typically deep and dreamless, or at least it has been for the past year or more, and I've found that to be my preference. That preference has everything to do with the numerous nights since I'd first moved to Los Angeles that I'd woken up suddenly, heart pounding like a jackhammer, cold sweat on my face and the lingering dread of a nightmare still clouding my mind. The first truly bad ones had been after Faith, and then after I'd been shot, but of course, the worst were the ones that came after Connor and Holtz and Justine's knife and Angel's fury.

Eventually, I found a way to shut them out, force those terrors into small, dark cold corners of my mind where those feelings need never rise again. It meant there would be no good dreams, either, but being perfectly honest, there wasn't much likelihood in that happening anytime soon.

As the numbness of sleep slowly faded from my body, and I was gradually reacquainting myself with limbs and sensations, I had the now unfamiliar sense that I was waking up from a dream. Sunlight suffused through the blinds as my eyes opened and I began to flex joints that seemed to far prefer remaining where they had lain. This morning, almost everything seemed to conspire to make me greatly reluctant to get up.

Except, that is, for the fact that I was waking alone.

Reaching out, I could still feel the barest indentation of the mattress where she'd been, and the slight warmth of the pillow beside mine. Fred hadn't been gone long, and though I would have preferred things otherwise, I found myself not minding. There would be, I felt certain, other opportunities to do so.

I entertained the idea that there might be troubled or guilty feelings involved, but only for a moment. Nothing of last night pointed at such a thing being so, and I felt sure in our newfound ability to communicate.

Rising from the bed, I took a moment to set Fred's stuffed rabbit right side 'round, dressed and returned to my own room to shower and change. A few minutes later, I was out of my door. Despite everything else that had happened before, I found myself believing that we might all actually find a way to come through this trial.

((Open to anyone in the hotel hall))

2 comments|post comment

Off to a crummy start. [02 Jul 2005|12:18am]

[ mood | okay ]

Ugh. What do you have to do to get a decent cup of coffee around here? I grumbled as I threw the second half of my latte into the nearest trashcan, making my way across Wolfram & Hart's lobby. A sub-par cup of coffee just meant that the morning was off to a bad start. Bad coffee is a bad omen.

I didn't have time to worry about it. There was a lot to do, and not nearly enough time to do it in. I was headed up to Lindsey's office for an impromptu meeting about the firm's newest addition. Hopefully, it wouldn't take long. After that, I had to track down that Knox character--

Hold on. Looks like not everything is going to be a pain in the ass today. I smiled when I spotted Knox conveniently standing a little further down the hallway, talking to someone else dressed in a white labcoat similar to his own. Walking a bit faster, I quickly closed the distance between us and seized his forearm, giving it a gentle tug so that dragging him along wouldn't be such a chore. He quickly dismissed the young man he'd been talking to and started to walk alongside me, pulling his arm free.

"What's going on?"

"We're going to go have a chat with Mr. McDonald, actually. I thought it might save some time if you were there. I know you don't have anywhere else to be until noon, so don't try to tell me otherwise. I promise, it'll be painless." I smiled at him over my shoulder as we approached the elevator at the end of the corridor. Pressing the up arrow, I stood by and waited for the doors to slide open with that familiar hiss.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything too important."

((Open to Knox, then Lindsey once we get to his office, and Lilah whenever she sees fit.))

8 comments|post comment

Knockin Boots [30 Jun 2005|12:37am]



I was sorta staring to warm up to this whole human gig. I may not have wanted it, or asked for it, or even DERSERVED it. But that didn't mean I couldn't be good at it. I knew for a fact that I was one kick ass human. I mean, just look at my yearbook!!!! I was on 42% of the pages. How many seniors can say they were that popular, or even cool enough to support that kinda math. (And ok, I had to get Willow to do the actual math, but look how easily she had bended to my will the last day. You would have thought she was distracted or something, but nope. I am that cool)

The bruise on my cheek had faded to this really unattractive purple, but right with the cool new human skills I could at least actually see myself in the mirror when I applied make up to cover it up. I had truely forgotten how hot I was.

And hungry?

I pressed a hand to my stomach and actually *felt* the growl.

Yup. Hungry.

And back with the cool stuff? Now I actually had a choice on what to eat. When had I ever thought blood, blood, and blood tweaked with otter was the way to go? Okay, like last month. But a girl is allowed to change her mind. And her body temperature. Or at least get one back.

I was out of my room, down the stairs, in the lobby and almost to the kitchen were someone was so kindly already making my breakfast, when I ran right into Spike. Where did he come from.


"Nuh uh," I murmered, backing away.

Only, so uh. He CAME. I didn't have to be a vampire to catch the musky scent Spike was wearing closer than his bad nail polish. Or catch that happy, dreamy look in his eyes. Or his mussed hair. Someone had SO been running their fingers through his hair.

I hope they got bleach stains.

"Nu UH."

I hope Cordy got those bleach stains.

"You sooo knocked boots with her," I accused.

((open to Blondie Bear))
5 comments|post comment

Stay... [28 Jun 2005|02:02am]

[ mood | contemplative ]

Twice in a single day Wesley had asked me if I had wanted him to stay, and twice I had replied with the answer I thought we both wanted to hear. After downstairs, and Charles, I had been so frightened of anything ever remotely resembling alone that the words had come tumbling out with a force I thought I had forgotten. And then, in the part after the alone, but before the together? I had whispered the word 'Stay', when what I really had wanted was for him not to go. And no matter how much that might sound like the same thing...it really isn't.

And then I discovered that intent was secondary, at least to the arms that held me close. Only to then sense my need to be myself, to touch and test the alone I was so afraid of, before reaching out for Wesley's warmth once more. Was he that assured that I would always come back? Was he that brave? Did he trust me...more than I trusted myself? Whatever it was, I burried myself there inside that strength, swearing silently that I would save it to return just as soon as I possibly could. And somewhere in the give and take of it all that was sometimes soft, and sometimes good, and that always made me ache I found something to hold on to. Someone that made me want again. Perhaps one of the best things I had known, in all of my time...not just the past few days. But then that was when I remained still enough to think, something I was still fighting against.

"I missed you." I remembered saying that after one moment, but before the next. I used to thrill in the double meaning of words...to love the different sides of things. But this just wasn't the kind of missing that came from much to little too late. This was an over my head, passing in the darkness, painful kind of regret that came from being that last to see. How had I missed Wesley, and for so long? I knew that my hands were eager, and worked to fill in my eyes' failings with determined touch. It was good, tender...overcompensation. Until it became something else again. Until it returned to the part where it didn't matter.

Just before we fell asleep, I caught one last look at the stars and remembered working to just look, and not worry on the seeing. Wesley's arms were wrapped tightly around me, and I could feel his breath warm and solid, gliding through my hair. I don't think that it was accident that somehow he had placed himself firmly between me and the rest of the hotel. After all, it wasn't the sky that hurt...but what was downstairs. That was when I finally cried a little, the tears just as silent as I knew they would be. The feeling behind them was different, and not unwanted, but the wetness was still there.

I didn't want to be this weak again. I wasn't sure if I could get through it. Not when suddenly...hopefully? Not when it might not be just me. When I woke up I wasn't suprised to find that I had shifted in my sleep, I had never been one to stay in one place. But I was startled to find my face burried in Wesley's chest, and to feel, more than hear, the beat of his heart. Arms and legs were unsettled things, often opinionated on where they rested. Finding that place face to face, where sleep was welcome and allowed had always seemed to me a rare occurance. It took work and knowing...and certain amounts of time. And yet we had stumbled upon it without even a thought.

I felt myself smiling...really smiling, and was caught up in the strangness of it. I think I might have touched my own mouth if it hadn't meant waking Wesley. So...I didn't. But I couldn't go back to sleep either. If I could wake up, then he could do the same just as easily. He could wake up, and get dressed, and leave. Wesley could go downstairs with the simple intention of facing the day...and all I could think was that I couldn't face being left alone.

I don't know how he got through that part.

And yet here I was, silently working and shifting from my bed, ready to do just such a thing to him...again. And maybe it wouldn't be like that for Wesley, maybe it wouldn't feel that way. Maybe it was just my own silly fears, the ones that were louder than the dark. I didn't want to leave without a word, but for some reason waking him didn't up feel like an option either. He just looked so...peaceful. I considered a placeholder of some kind, and for a moment my eyes moved over to Fiegenbaum, his back still turned to the bed. But it seemed rather juivenile an ill-fitting, so instead I leaned down to press my lips first to the exposed hollow of Wesley's shoulder, and then briefly to his mouth. In the time I had gotten dressed Wesley had turned slightly in his sleep, making the embrace unfairly easy for my part. "I missed you," I whispered once more, hoping there was enough awake behind his eyes that Wesley might remember the words. That wasn't just a placeholder...that was my place.

Slipping out into the hallway I slowly made my way down to the lobby, and then to the kitchen. It was suprisingly quiet, especially compared to the day before. I shuddered...trying not to compare it at all. Finding solace in action, I set about to making breakfast, my eyes constantly seeking the door. The results were more than even I could ever eat...more than everyone here could possibly eat.

But at least it kept me busy.

((open to anyone))

10 comments|post comment

Whatever [02 May 2005|09:09pm]

"Harmony, either get out of our hotel or lock yourself in a room where none of us are going to find you."

They were all gone before I could answer. Done with me before I could announce I was done with them. Which, I pouted a bit, was probally all fine and good. I mean, me being done with them meant what? I was dragging my bags back to Wolfram and Hart? So not happening. These are the same people who said I wasn't evil enough.

Well I am enough enough for me, and anyone else with good taste too, and I am NOT about to go back there. Which left me here right? Right, I think.

Stomping up the stairs I held my cheek, trying to ignore how it hurt. This human gig had its perks, the biggest one being it was what Spike and Angel wanted. And that made it all the more cool. It was enough to make me was to strut my suntanned self hourly right under their noses. And I knew, as in old school knew, enough that not only would they see me? They would hear, taste, and smell me too. Vamp senses and all.

Slamming the door to the first empty room I found I locked the door and dropped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling and deciding that blood was just plain gross. What had I been thinking.

Actually, what was I thinking NOW?

Pulling up, I darted across the room and unlocked the door.

Obey orders? WHATEVER.

Take that Cordy. Take that.
post comment

Wandering... [01 May 2005|11:50pm]

[ mood | listless ]

((Cont from HERE))

I walked away from the building, the seemingly endless meetings coming to an end for now. I was satisfied with... certain aspects after speaking to the one known as Hamilton. My business with them was, certainly, far from over, yet...

I had nowhere to go.

I could not stay there, within the confines of that space that held memories that lingered no matter how many times I wished them gone, yet, how could I return to the hotel? Filled with anger, distrust... the vampires, the mortals...

How could they even believe that I would commit murder before their own eyes? I was not foolish enough to do so... had Gunn angered me? Yes. But enough to kill him? Certainly not in the manner in which I had found the body.

Yet, how simple it had been for them all to assume.

I wandered the streets of this place that Fred had called home, that I had taken as my own, and felt like a stranger within it. Where could I go? What should I do now? Nothing made any semblance of sense...

I wished my powers returned to me so that I might be Illyria once more. Yet while I wait for them...

Who am I?

((Open to Faith))

11 comments|post comment

So What Happens Now? [24 Apr 2005|10:59pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

As soon as Spike had mentioned his own fatigue, I took a quick look around and realized that we were all looking more than a little weary. More than unerstandably, none of us was at our best, physically or mentally, and some rest would almost certainly be the right thing to do.

Spike departed with Cordelia.

And that was as much consideration of that particular situation that I was prepared to give at that moment.

And just like that, I was alone with Fred, which I hadn't been since before we'd found out about Gunn. We had been talking then, about... well, about when she'd died, when we'd lost her, and about Illyria. After which, of course, we were thrown right into believing Illyria had murdered Gunn. Just a typical day at the Hyperion Hotel, I thought morbidly.

Of course, we hadn't gotten to what might be just as important a topic-- meaningly, the state of things immediately prior to Fred's shuffling off this particular mortal coil. I wasn't nearly fool enough to bring the subject up right away, or perhaps I shouldn't even be the one to do it at all, I thought. And until the question arose again, I couldn't be sure whether or not anything had changed.

Certainly, I didn't think anything had changed, at least on my end. When I looked at her, it was the same as it always had been; she still stirred the same feelings. Didn't she?

God only knew, though, how she felt.

And I wasn't about to ask.

No, this was definitely the time to resort to my preferred methods of longing, meaningful glances and quiet adoration. Definitely.

"So," I began weakly, "I suppose getting some rest might be a good idea."

((Open to Fred.))

12 comments|post comment

[22 Apr 2005|09:04pm]

"Dunno 'bout the rest of you, but I'm tired from torturin' Harm."

Tired? Not really. Not in the physical way. When you're dealing with Harmony, all of the exhaustion starts out as psychological and converts itself to something that makes you desperate for sleep. The need to get away from Harmony and try to forget about the entire conversation is why bed always pops up as the perfect solution. If you're dreaming, it's unlikely that Harmony is going to enter your mind.

Unless you're having a nightmare.

"We'll brainstorm in the morning."

Did I just use the word "brainstorm" in a sentence? Okay, I do need to get some rest. Wes and Fred look like they could use some time alone together. The sad part is, they look like they could use some alone time individually too.

The Powers That Be shocked the hell out of me by sending us back, but when I first heard the news, it made me happy. I thought that we originally screwed ourselves over by making decisions alone. Wesley tried to save Connor without telling anyone, I agreed to become a higher power; we all made choices without thinking about how it would affect the team. This was supposed to be our chance to fix everything that we'd broken, and what happened?

Gunn is dead, Angel's close to hating me, Lorne probably hates himself, and Fred feels like she's somewhere else. The only person who I have to lean on is the most unlikely shoulder that I've ever known. But maybe if I let him take care of me, then I can start to take care of everyone else. I can do what I should. Maybe I can find a way to help Spike too.

A way that doesn't involve having sex 24/7. I went from never getting any to getting with a vampire who wants it too often. I'm not missing the irony on that one.

"C'mon, Sexy, lemme walk you back t'your room. Get some rest."

I nodded and let Spike lead me back to my room. Or was it his room now? Are we expected to share? We slept together, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we have to sleep together. I wouldn't mind it, I just don't want to become the textbook definition of clingy, even though I want to be around him.

"Can... I come in?"

He's clingy too. Oh thank God.

"Sure you can.--But only if you promise to stay with me until morning."

I could care less about this being convenient. Spike can come in if he wants, but if he does...then his vampire ass is staying in my room until I'm ready for him to go.

[[Open to Spike]]
9 comments|post comment

This really isn't what I was expecting. [14 Apr 2005|06:02pm]

[ mood | thirsty ]

It had been awhile since I'd seen both Harmony and Angel leave the kitchen. I didn't know where they were now, but I was fairly sure the kitchen was safe. Rather than continuing to sit on the stairs and feel sorry for myself, I decided to get up and help myself to what little I was sure to find in the kitchen, leaving the stairwell and the confusion surrounding Gunn's death behind me for the time being. I was welcome to raid the fridge, wasn't I? I used to live here, after all. I didn't expect to find much, considering it had been awhile since anyone had actually lived in the hotel, but I could at least get myself a glass of water. That shouldn't be too hard to come by.

The kitchen wasn't empty when I finally rached the doorway. Lorne was there, fixing a drink for himself -- it was probably the best way he knew to cope with what was going on. I gave him a weak smile. He still didn't know who I was, did he? I had a lot of explaining to do. Maybe even a little singing. Normally I would have resisted, but if I had to prove myself? As far as Lorne was concerned, there was no better way.

Besides, I'd promised him both a thorough explanation and a few bars. I wasn't going to hold out on him.

"Hey," I said casually, helping myself to a clean glass from the cupboard and going to fill it with cold water from the sink. Even with my new memories and home life, I'm still not much of a people person. I try, but... no joy, most of the time. "... you looking to get away from everyone else, too?"

((Open to Lorne.))

11 comments|post comment

Movin' along now... [14 Apr 2005|09:03am]

[ mood | melancholy ]

After Cordy told Harm t'toss off, I didn't even bother tryin' t'hide my smirk. Watched as the little bimbette ran off, and at the moment? I didn't rightly care where she was goin' off t'either. Placed an arm 'round my girl - yeah she was my girl, I was claiming her, wasn't love or nothin' just yet but sod it all she was mine - and pulled her t'me quickly for a kiss... my fingers laced through her hair as my mouth tried t'somehow push into her all the hope I still had... tried t'push outta her all the pain she was feelin' at the moment.

It was the least I could do, after all.

Let go of her and stroked the side of her cheek with my knuckles, smilin'. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Not appropriate at a time like this... well sod it all, I couldn't wait." That was only partly true, though. I'd seen how she was hurtin', and I didn't like that much.

Funny, don't know how or why or even when that had all developed, but there it was nonetheless.

"You're right, Spike. We should go see if they found any new information."

"Yeah," I replied reluctantly, holdin' her hand in mine as if that would somehow give her the strength she really didn't fuckin' need from me as we walked back inside. Vamp-hearin' caught the tail-end of the others' conversation...

"We need to find out what, if anything, that Spike and Cordelia have learned from Harmony. Wolfram & Hart is the obvious first on the list of suspects, but we've no clear motive, other than reducing our numbers by one. Faith, I think the idea of finding out if there's any new information on the street level regarding our newly re-organized adversaries is a solid one..."

Strode on in t'where they were gathered and shook my head sadly. "Nothin' is what we found out, except for the fact that Harm is a bleedin' idiot. Though, think we all knew that already." I sighed before goin' on. "She knows nothin', saw nothin'. Cordy's vision isn't narrowin' down anythin' much except for the whole Evil Inc. idea, so's..."

I watched Faith walk on out alone and raised a brow, turnin' t'Wes and Fred with my head cocked t'the side. "Right... so we got muscle on this now, eh?" I shrugged. Probably best if it was Faith, after all, and not me. Big Blue would recognize me, but possibly not as much as Faith if they ran into each other.

Saw Gunn's body lyin' all covered up and decided we needed t'forget him. For now... if only for the sake of everyone's soddin' sanity.

"So... what did you discover? Any new leads? Or should we be gettin' some rest or some-such?"

((Open to Wes, Fred, and Cordy!))

4 comments|post comment

Unimpressive fools [03 Apr 2005|01:47pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

"Your Qwa'ha Xahn currently maintains a contract with us that he can't break. He's not allowed to do anything without the consent of the Senior Partners."

What? This could not be so. And yet, when I gazed upon him, reached my hand toward his form, there was no untruth there. "No..." I whispered, uncertain for the first time since I had made my decision to come to the House of Death.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to borrow Knox for a bit. I promise to return him when I'm done. Senior Partners' orders. You understand, of course."

I watched as my Qwa'ha Xahn was removed from my presence and I was left alone with the mortals I distrusted. Glances about the room from one to the other, as if I was not even present! As if I could not see what they were intending to do! How... presumptuous.

"Take your time. As long as you return him alive, I don't see anything wrong with you speaking to Knox. Do you, Lindsey?"

I decided that I would take great pleasure in torturing Lilah before killing her. It would not be swift and painless as I had heard Lindsey's death had been - oh, no... far from it. Her intestines would be pulled out, but by bit, then I would force her to eat them while her eyes were mine to toy with, dance upon... her screams a joy to my ears...

I walked out of the room, allowing my anger to fill me once more now that I was alone, as I attempted to decide what my next course of action would be... certainly I wished my powers returned, and yet...

How were these mortals any better than the vampire?

((Open to anyone at W&H))

8 comments|post comment

[31 Mar 2005|07:00pm]

I wish Angel would have thought to tell me where to get a good cage in Paris. Trying to find one on my own was embarrassing enough. Lying to Jill about what I was doing made me feel even worse. Most of the time she thought that I was spending the night with someone. I made up as many decent excuses as I could think of, but sometimes, you just have to go along with it and hope for the best. Instead of dwelling on all of the things that I couldn't make sense of, I try to focus on the good. Amanda is in love with the entire country. She spends hours trying to learn the language and the customs; my niece is the youngest of the three of us, and she's the only one who knows how to ask for directions. For that, I'll just be grateful.

I took out my room key and slide it through the lock to open the door. For once, I had the place to myself. Jill was supposed to be taking Amanda on her fourth trip to some little gallery that they'd found while shopping the other day. Normally I would have loved to have tagged along, but after the all time I'd just spent missing in action, I was exhausted.

Exhaustion. It turned out to be my decent excuse for the thirty seconds I spent staring at the note. Then I picked it up off of the counter and read it.


Your boyfriend called, I told him that you'd be in touch. Don't put it off for too long, I know how much you've missed him.

Love you,


Angel called while I was in a cage. That made perfect sense, except for all of the parts that didn't. He promised that he'd come to me if he made it out of his battle 'intact'. I didn't believe him before, but I'm starting to think that I should have.

This should make me ecstatic, but...calling isn't really coming to me, is it? He could be calling to let me know that he isn't in four separate pieces now, or to see if we're alright. It could be anything; we didn't have a very nice goodbye.

"We'll have time."

I owe it to him to see what he wants. I owe it to me, too. There are enough questions in my life without me wondering if my boyfriend wants to get back together. If I don't call him, I'll never know what he had to say. Angel has done so much for me, he deserves a chance.

I took my cellphone out of my purse and flopped down on the couch. Taking a deep breath, I dialed his number and waited.

I hope he's intact.

[[Open to Angel]]
7 comments|post comment

The SeX-Files [08 Mar 2005|03:15pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

I dragged Harm over t'the garden, seein' as how it was the scene of the crime and all. I threw her over t'the bench before standin' next t'Cordy, arms crossed as we begn t'play our game of Scully and Mulder.

Except, with the sex.

"Right, so's you found Gunn, where exactly, Harm? And don't fuckin' lie t'me, cuz I know when you do." Yeah, I could pretty much do anythin' I wanted t'do t'her seein' as how I knew she still wanted me. Trouble was, Cordy was there and we'd already had a big fight 'bout Harm and all, so's I'd have t'be soddin' careful.

"Now fess up, Harm," I continued, wonderin' exactly what the specifics of Cordy's vision had been - but figured she'd jump in when she felt the need t'do so and yell and scream at the little blonde bitch whenever it was needed.

"Need you t'tell us exactly what you saw, and what Big Blue was doin' too," I added.

Maybe if we got the info quick-like, I could grab Sexy and pull her off somewhere for some snoggin'. Hey, a bloke could hope.

((Open to Cordy and Harm))

7 comments|post comment

CSI: Hyperion [08 Mar 2005|11:40am]

[ mood | numb ]

Gunn still lay in that deceptive appearance of peacefulness. As i stood beside the table, I couldn't help but be reminded of when I'd stood beside Lilah's body, in the basement, and the grisly necessity I'd seen to.

Would Gunn sit up and talk, as well? Would he condemn me for failing him, somehow? Would he absolve me of my sins? It was far too much to hope that he would name his killer, of course.

I actually did wait a few moments, just to make sure that I wasn't about to have the same hallucination as I had with Lilah.

When Gunn remained still and silent, I looked up to regard the two women who'd accompanied me. Two women, I realized at that moment, who had done so much to shape the last few years of my life.

"I know this isn't going to be easy on any of us," I began, my throat much drier than it had been a few minutes before. "But we need to know.

Fred stood opposite me, watching as I looked over the shell that once held a man I called my brother, as if to make sure I did the job properly, and ready to employ her much more comprehensive scientific expertise at any time.

"Brusing and discoloration around the neck indicates that victim was either strangled or had neck broken by assailant. No evidence of cuts or puncture wounds. Not a vampire."

I raised my eyes to Fred's to see how I was doing.

((Open to Fred and Faith))

10 comments|post comment

[22 Feb 2005|03:59pm]

[ mood | cynical ]

I walked back on inside, figurin' Faith would follow me, and sighed as I took another drag. Not much had changed 'round here since we'd gone out t'get some fresh air... so t'speak. I did notice the door t'the office had been shut tight, and so's I made my way on over and opened it up without askin', seein' Percy and Sexy yabberin' away.

"Business, eh?" I nodded. "I'll leave you two alone then if..."

I was 'bout t'shut the soor, when I stopped and thought better of it.

"No. On second thought, I won't leave you alone. What the bloody hell is goin' on 'round here? Angel's got some brat kid son? Blue's up and left us, Gunn's..." I paused. "... dead. Nothin' is makin' much sense. Me and Faith couldn't figure out why our stories didn't match up exactly, neither, so's maybe it's time t'be talkin' t'the ones 'round here who actually seem t'know what the fuck is goin' on!"

Yeah, it's what Angel would've said too, only nicer and without all the swearin'.

Hey, I had me a soul now, not a censor from Jack-fuckin'-Vallenti.

((Open to Cordy, Wes, and Faith))

10 comments|post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]